Working at Home

Titus is told to instruct his church in the household and church roles of both men and women, older and younger.  Paul writes, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." (Titus 2:3‭-‬5 ESV). American culture seems to run opposed to these ideas.  It seems as if our culture celebrates the “mommy needs wine” idea as well as that of moms needing to focus on self-care.  The Bible does not teach us to drink wine to handle stress and put self-care over the care of our husband and children.  One highly controversial and much-eschewed position is to be working at home.   

There is a lot to be done to keep a home running.  Anywhere there are people there are messes to be cleaned.  I find it helpful to keep a planner in which I can write down tasks that need to be accomplished for each day.  I find it easier to keep up with cleaning the house and managing errands when I write down what I need to do or where I need to go.  I also plan on some daily tasks such as dishes and laundry.  I also find it helpful to plan meals at least a week in advance.  Not only does this help with budgeting and grocery lists, but it also helps me plan to have enough time to make dinner.  On busy days, I try to plan quick and simple meals.  Days with fewer responsibilities are the days I like to experiment with a new recipe or take on a more involved recipe.  While the wife is the one working at home, this does not mean that she is at the beck and call of her family.  Yes, she serves them in a plethora of ways from cooking meals to cleaning clothes.  However, she is also responsible for ensuring that the house is run smoothly and efficiently, which often means delegating.  

In households with children, instructing them on how to clean, and enduring multiple failed attempts at doing so, is part of the parenting process.  As much as toddlers love to help, their help is rarely helpful.  There have been many times that I cleaned up the toddler's cleaning job after they were done.  However, this process of demonstrating, teaching, correcting, reteaching, and continual patience will eventually lead to capable children ready to leave home and care for themselves.  As much as I hate to think about it, my children will not be children forever.  Parents are training them to live independently, without them.  I must equip my children with the basic life skills they will need to survive and thrive without me.  Even when there are no children in the home, women can be a godly example to girls and other women through a well-maintained home.  The world tells women to focus on their careers.  God tells us to focus on our homes.  

It is a common misconception that life today is too expensive for a woman to stay home.  This is just not true.  The lifestyle that is pushed as the "norm", that encourages debt just to "keep up", and assumes that children are only another series of expenses in your long line of expenses is difficult to maintain on one average income.  However, it is worth discussing priorities and roles and what lifestyle would be most glorifying to God.   Women can still work outside the home, but home should be their primary focus.  This is especially true when children come along.  Rather than handing your children's care over to someone else, do all that you can to be with them and care for them yourself as much as possible.  Consider what lifestyle choices are necessary and what may be given up to allow you to focus on your home (and children).  

This is not always an easy decision.  It can be difficult to live and have different priorities than everyone around you.  I have heard people describe my stay-at-home-mom status as a waste of my education.  Other women have told me that they would go crazy if they didn't have their careers and that they had to get out of their houses.  I'm definitely not saying that those women who work outside the home are less godly or sinning in some way.  However, I am saying it is important to consider your focus.  If your career is so time and attention-consuming that your home is no longer your focus, or if you don't want to spend time in your own home with your family, this might be an indication of sin.  The calling of women to be workers at home is not natural.  Our sinful nature rebels and echoes of the curse ring true as we try to take our husband's role in the home.  Seek to follow God's way instead of your own.  By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can find happiness and contentment loving your husband and children and being a worker at home.