I've always been a relatively healthy person.  Yes, I may get a seasonal bug or whatever is going around, but I don't have any major complaints.  Whenever I thought of the "in sickness and in health" part of marriage, I always thought of it at a much later time, when we were older.  I still really can't complain; I have no terminal or even serious illness.  However, I have been battling one thing after another for about two months now.  It seems like as soon as I was over one thing another issue arose.  This has given me a greater respect for people who are battling more serious, long-term or terminal issues.  When one person is not well, it changes things in your relationship and home.

I have been blessed with an understanding husband who has been very supportive.  He has been helping search for solutions, even to the point of changing his own diet so we can eat food that may be better for me.  He has endured my mood swings and fatigue with grace and a shoulder to cry on.  I have been very frustrated by my lack of health, and he has been there to encourage me through it.  Part of loving someone through sickness includes being strong when they are weak and being hope when they feel the situation is hopeless.

Loving someone in sickness and in health means whatever comes, however it comes, whenever it comes.  I have also been on the caring end of loving my husband through sickness.  I have had to squash my fears of "what if" and focus on caring for his needs at the moment.  It can be difficult when someone is in such a vulnerable and needy position, especially someone who is usually so strong.  When the person who was regularly my strength was rendered utterly weak, I found myself scared and unsure what to do.  I wanted to help him, but also didn't know what to do to help him, other than just praying continually that God would be gracious to me and not take him home.  I was a bit selfish at that moment, because I didn't want to give him up.  Though I know that God is in sovereign control, I was worried about what the future would look like without him.  I have had conflicting feelings of wanting to help and being tired of helping.  I want to relieve his symptoms, but sometimes with selfish motives, so he doesn't need me so much.  It can be exhausting, especially if someone needs long-term care.  Yet this is the essence of marriage.  We must give up our own wants and seek to love our husbands more than ourselves. 

I have seen a beautiful example of this lived out before me.  Not only did this couple love each other devotedly, but they also cared for each other in so many little ways.  Even as he battled a terminal, degenerative disease, he ensured that his wife was and would continue to be cared for.  He did little things like arrange for flowers to be delivered to her at work.  Even when he was almost completely dependent on her for everything and facing his home going, he made sure that she was going to be okay.  Likewise, she was devoted to him and his care.  She never settled for second best, but worked hard to ensure he was cared for well.  She learned to do as much as she could for him herself, and sought the best professional nursing assistance when things progressed beyond what she could do by herself.  She also did small things for him like arranging an early Christmas so he could enjoy the decorations while he could still get out to the living room window to see the outside.  In everything they did, they professed their love for each other. 

There is another side to loving in sickness and in health, the healthy times.  We often take our husband for granted when we are both well.  We don't think about the brevity of life when we are well.  We may neglect to care for each other or do something special for each other when we feel that the other is fine.  We only get so many healthy days together, and we don't know how many that may be.  We should enjoy those healthy times and cultivate a loving relationship that makes those times of sickness less of a burden and more of a loving care.