Mama Bear Apologetics

Momma Bear Apologetics is a widely loved book.  Take a look inside and you will see high praise from a good number of authors, professors, and speakers.  This book also comes with a foreword by Nancy Pearcey.  Even with these high recommendations, I’ve always been hesitant to “jump on bandwagons”.  I am almost instantly cautious of anything that is widely lauded by so many Christians from varying denominations.  It is rare that they would agree, so I tend to question it when it happens.  So, I did approach this book with caution.  I was biased against it simply because it was popular.  While I did find some good information and things I agreed with, I also have some disagreements.  

I do agree that many parents seem to take a “back seat” to their children’s education.  There are parents who are unable to answer difficult questions or unaware that their children may be influenced by differing worldviews or philosophies.  I agree that parents should be taking the responsibility to teach their children well.  Parents should be greatly involved in the teaching and training of their children.  There should be regular open discussions where their children feel comfortable addressing difficult questions or doubts they may have about their beliefs.  I also agree that many women do not have in-depth training in God’s Word.  Few women have seminary training or attend an in-depth Bible Study or mentoring on a regular basis.  When I was growing up and venturing out on my own, I found very few older women, other than my mom, who were also mature in their faith and knew and understood the Bible in a way that they could teach or mentor me.  I found that most women's Bible Studies consisted of little more than self-help, and gossip groups.  I called these studies “love and fluff”, because they all wanted to just talk about how much God loved them and fill it in with nonsense.  Little depth and deeper questions were often met with confused looks and laughs as though I couldn't be serious.  I understand the need this book is trying to fill.  They want to educate moms and give them resources to address difficult topics that may arise during their daily interactions with their children.  While I can agree there is a need, I disagree with their approach.

One early statement I disagreed with is in the middle of page 39 where they state, “While Papa Bears undoubtedly play an integral role in their children’s faith, more often than not it’s Mom who spends the majority of the time with the kids.  When spiritual questions are asked, they are likely being fielded by mom…Moms can have a profound influence on their children’s spiritual development.”  While the mom may spend more time with the children due to the father working outside of the home, this doesn’t mean that all spiritual conversations fall to her.  There is nothing wrong with telling a child that you’d like to have that discussion as a family when dad is home, just as you would tell them that you need to do more research before answering a question to which you do not know the answer.  I would argue that fathers should be involved in answering these questions.  Fathers are the parents specifically charged with teaching and training their children (Ephesians 6).  As the elders of their home, fathers will have to give an account before God for their family.  Moms can help in this teaching, and this may be what the authors are referring to; however, it came across as the mother’s role in teaching their children was more primary than the father’s role.  This seemed to be furthered by the statement just a few pages later encouraging mothers to “create time and space with your family for regular discussion.”(pg 43)  Again, I believe this to be the role of the father.  There are home circumstances where the father may not take this role, such as in a single-parent home; however, when the father is at home, he should take the lead, especially on spiritual matters.  They say this much themselves when they discuss the word patriarchy in their discussion of feminism (pg 244).  This leads me to believe that maybe they just did not express their view clearly.  It is possible in their attempt to emphasize the need for mothers to learn they skipped over the role of the father.  While I can give them the benefit of the doubt on this, it still makes me uneasy.  A book on apologetics should be very exact in its words, especially when it emphasizes the importance of word precision!

I also disagree with the idea that children need to be exposed to teachings or experiences that you may disagree with so they can learn to take the good and leave the bad.  I think opens the door not only to false teaching but also to the idea that there is always something good to be found.  I think it is perfectly acceptable to dismiss some worldly content as just that, worldly and unprofitable.  You don’t have to watch the show or read the book to know that the content is unwholesome, unprofitable, and not worthy of your time.  One of the authors talks about viewing an R-rated movie as a good way to “show the slow decay that occurs as a normal teenager becomes a junkie.”  Just because the movie didn’t glorify drug use does not make it something worthy of our time.  I believe a healthy diet of the truth is a better approach than the “chew and spit” approach to secular media.  This approach has them looking at “some of the good that postmodernism has brought.”  While they are in no way endorsing postmodernism, this is the very path that many take who then start to embrace it.  Again, I agree with having regular conversations with your children, especially when they are faced with a belief, philosophy, or other such experience that contradicts what you are teaching them from the Bible.  However, I would argue that if you know the truth, you can spot the error.  I don’t believe it is necessary to be well-studied in various religious and philosophical beliefs.  If you know the Truth, you will be able to spot the error.  I think our time would be much better spent in the study of God’s word.  

They state the problem well on page 263, “They didn’t know the real thing, which made them vulnerable to almost the real thing.”  I believe this correctly summarizes the problem.  Rather than teaching about the dangers of the almost real thing, parents should be studying and teaching their children to study the real thing.  While I can see the draw of this book, I believe time would be wiser spent getting to know your Bible better.  Spend daily time in the Word.  Seek out good commentaries and sermons to learn more about what God is teaching in the Bible.  Teach your children what you have learned.  Bring them up in the Church and surround them with solid Biblical teachings and worldviews.  You can teach them to spot the errors without teaching them the errors!  I believe Julie Loos, one of the authors, was correct in her quotation on page 268, “As Francis Shaeffer said in his book ‘The God Who Is There’, ‘It is important to remember, first of all, that we cannot separate true apologetics from the work of the Holy Spirit, nor from a living relationship in prayer to the Lord on the part of the Christian.  We must understand that eventually the battle is not just against flesh and blood.’”  It’s not all up to the “Mama Bear”.

Should you read this book?  That is up to you.  I don’t see any intrinsic harm in this book.  I would see it as a useful starting point if you are currently facing one of the philosophies they address.  They also have a website with various resources that could further assist you.  If you are already well-versed in the philosophies they mention or know your Bible well, this book may not be as beneficial as it is to someone who is just starting.  If you feel inadequate for the battle your kids are facing, give it a read.  It may come in handy.