The Importance of Fathers

My daughter spent her early years without a father.  Things were rocky the first year of her life with her father leaving shortly after she turned one.  While she grew up with great male influences including my dad, my brother, and various other godly men in our church, her life was very different from my own.  One major difference I noticed was the way we interacted with the fathers of our friends.  I remember always being a bit intimidated by the fathers of my friends.  I grew up with a dad who was the leader of our home and his word was "the law".  I, therefore, viewed other fathers with the same respect and viewed them as an authority and someone who you didn't approach without invitation.  My daughter, however, gravitated toward all men.  Rather than go to a friend's mother with a question or concern, she would go to their father.  She was constantly seeking the attention and approval of the men in her life.  Thankfully, the men in her life were godly men who pointed her to Christ and set great examples of what a father should be.

Many people would look at my daughter's early life and think she had a good life, and she did.   I had a steady job, we regularly went out of state to visit family, and we eventually even had our own home and took a trip to Disney World!  However, her school records still listed her as "at-risk".  She was listed this way because she was in a single-parent home.  There are many indicators that a child may not do well in school, particularly in learning to read.  One of those factors is a single-parent home.  Another factor is financial resources, which are usually less in a single-parent home.  This, even with all of her advantages, she was still at a disadvantage compared to her peers with similar circumstances and abilities with a father in their home.  So many people see single parents doing well and think, "I could do that."  More women are choosing to become single moms via adoption or in vitro fertilization.  I have heard so many people say, "You don't need him."  In fact, studies show that moms do need him!  Dads are important!  Some studies suggest that homes without fathers are more at risk than those without mothers!  

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children (1 in 3) live in a home without their biological father.  Close to 1 in 4 children live without any father in the home.  They have also found that children without fathers are more likely to have behavior problems, face abuse or neglect, abuse drugs and alcohol, and/or commit a crime and go to prison.  Those without fathers have a greater likelihood of infant mortality and are twice as likely to be obese.  Without a father in the home children are four times as likely to be living in poverty and seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teenager.  They are also more likely to drop out of school.  While these social issues are startling, that is not the only risk in a fatherless home.

Fathers are commanded to teach their children about God.  Research from Promise Keepers and Baptist Press found some startling statistics regarding faith and fathers.  They found that only one in fifty children will regularly attend church as adults if their father does not.  Consequently, they also found that sixty-six to seventy-five percent of children would be regularly in church if their father was, regardless of what their mother did.  They found in another survey that if a child was the first in the home to become a Christian the probability of the rest of the family following was rare.  It was slightly higher if the mother was the first to believe at about eighteen percent probability.  However, the probability of the whole family becoming Christians jumped to about ninety-three percent if the father became a Christian first!  The Bible sets up a structure in which the family works best.  In that structure, the father is the leader of the home supported by the help of his wife.  God commands help for the fatherless in both the Old and New Testaments.  God knew that in this sin-filled world there would be families that were not ideal.  He knew there would be widows and fatherless in need of care, and he made provision for them.  The church is told to care for the fatherless.  I have seen the benefits of a church that followed this command.  My daughter was given love, attention, encouragement, and even correction from godly men who stood in the gap left in a fatherless home.  

Ladies, honor your husband for their role as the father of your children.  If you do not have children, seek ways you and your husband can help the single moms and fatherless children in your church and community.  Do not fall victim to the lies of our culture that say you don't need a man.  Don't believe the lie that children will be fine without a father.  Challenge the idea that fathers are just another child in the home in which the mom is in charge.  As best you can, model your family according to God's plan.  If you are in a broke family, rely on your church family and the godly men in your life to help minimize the risk to your children that they may be brought up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4)