Weddings

Summer is a popular time for weddings.  Obviously the focus of a wedding is on the couple getting married, but usually that still revolves around the bride.  She is the one everyone is looking at and talking about.  This is "her day", the one she started constructing since she was a little girl.  I don't know about you, but I was probably younger than five the first time I used a lace curtain as a veil pretending to be a bride.  However, much stress is often caused by trying to match those childhood dreams with the pressures and reality of our actual wedding.  Often, the bride loses sight of the sacred covenant in the midst of all the planning.  The relationship between Christ and the Church is often described as a marriage; therefore, our marriage should point people to Christ, starting with our wedding.

Many people say that they want their wedding to point to Christ, but I have been to few weddings that actually do.  Too many sermons or admonitions during a wedding ceremony focus on love without looking at the wrath & redemption of God.  It may seem odd to speak of God’s wrath on a wedding day, but it is part of the gospel.  God’s love is magnified by his mercy and grace shown in redeeming his people.  Speaking just of love without mentioning his wrath that was satisfied by Christ’s death and resurrection removes any of its substance.  Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”  If you are in the process of planning your wedding or helping someone else in the planning, I would urge you to discuss with your groom and the elder performing the ceremony how the ceremony will point people to Christ.  Whatever is decided, the bride should submit to her husband as the final authority in this decision.

While I believe traditional vows are always acceptable, it seems that there are more and more people writing their own vows.  My husband and I decided to write our own vows as well.  When writing my vows, I studied God’s Word and tried to ensure that what I said was in keeping with my role as a wife.  I promised to seek God first and foremost in our marriage.  I not only pledged my life and love to my husband, but I also promised, by the grace of God, to submit to my husband’s headship of our home, as the Church submits to Christ.  Many women shy away from words like submit or obey thinking that they must give up their own thoughts, ideas, and will if they promise to submit to their husband.  Rather, I would encourage you to embrace the role of wife as God has designed in which wives are to submit to their husbands just as the Church submits to Christ.  When your husband loves you as Christ loves the Church, submission is an easy and freeing thing.

The wedding itself is a sacred covenant.  Even when things don’t go as planned (because there is always something that doesn’t go as planned), the plans that we have are not really that important.  The important part of the day is the covenant that was established and the new family that was formed.  The bride and groom leave their families and are joined to one another.  Ephesians 5:31-33 tells us, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”   There is not anything prescribed in Scripture regarding the ceremony or celebration around the forming of a marriage covenant.  I’m sure there were things that didn’t quite go as planned on my wedding day; however, I don’t even remember them.  The important part was that we left the wedding as husband and wife.  

Weddings are just the start of a lifetime together.  Couples learn and grow so much as they continue to meet the challenges of life together.  While it is always nice to have a fairytale wedding, it is even more important to have a marriage that glorifies God and points others to Christ.  The marriage itself is much more important than the one day on which it starts.  Have a marriage that honors Christ from the very first day with a wedding that points others to Him.