Men in Church

  Whether or not they feel particularly skilled in leadership, men are called to lead.  Their primary role is to lead their household.  When a man is married, he takes responsibility before God for his wife and children.  He acts as the elder of his home.  He should be leading them just as Christ leads the Church.  As a member of the Church, he also has a part to contribute to the edification of the Church.  Some men are called to lead as elders or deacons, others are called to contribute in other ways, being submissive to the leadership of the church.  

While men and women come in equal standing before God based solely on the work of Christ, we each have different roles to fill in the Church.  A person’s value and worth are not based on what they do, but they should serve as they are called by God to do so.  We see qualifications for elders and deacons laid out in the books of 1 Timothy and Titus.  These expectations are something that all men should strive to meet, as they lead their households.  Men serve as the elders of their homes and are responsible for the spiritual welfare of those in their homes.  They are the primary decision-makers, teachers, and disciplinarians.  However, those who desire the role of elder or deacon are required to meet these expectations as they are not just suggestions.  Men are uniquely called to be leaders of the Church and to teach those in the church.  They are responsible before God for those under their leadership.  Hebrews 13:17 tells us, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”  Therefore, those who are not leading should be in submission to the leaders of the Church.

Those in leadership must have the trust, respect, and submission of those they lead.  There is a reason God gives a detailed list of requirements for the office of elders.  These should be men that already have the trust and respect of those in the Church.  They should be men that we can follow and learn from.  Likewise, members of the church need to be submissive to their leadership.  No one should be divisive or argumentative regarding the decisions of the elders or the teachings of the church.  If you have an issue, question, or concern, it should first be brought to the elders directly.  This allows them to address your question without you subverting their authority in the church.  They have been put in that position by God, and we should follow their teaching and instruction.  Obviously, this is not a blind following.  Elders should welcome your questions as an opportunity to teach and instruct.  They should also be transparent in their decision-making so the church can be confident that they are seeking the best for the church.  There should be a plurality of elders and church discipline in place to correct an erring elder or, if necessary, remove him from office should he become disqualified.  However, that should be the exception.  

Wives have a unique role to play as helpmates.  We should be encouraging our husbands as they lead our home.  We should defer to them, especially concerning spiritual matters.  They should be the primary teachers of our children.  I still teach my children from God’s Word, but my husband leads us in family worship and guides me in education and curriculum decisions for our children.  We should also follow their lead when it comes to matters in the Church.  If there is something we disagree with or have questions about, we should talk to our husbands about it at home.  If it is a matter you both feel is an issue, your husband can take it before the elders.  Likewise, those whose husbands lead the Church should be a support and encouragement to them.  The wives of elders are often called upon by women in the church to provide counsel or help in times of need.  They should be ready to help lead and guide the women in the church.  One way they lead is by example.  Their godly conduct and submission to their husbands provide an example for the other women in the Church to follow.  They also can help lead women in meeting the needs of those in the Church through provisions of goods or services, such as meals or household help when someone has a new baby.  This is not solely the role of elders’ wives; all older ladies in the church should provide godly examples and teach and train the younger women.  

Men have been called to lead their families and the Church.  They should have the help and support of their wives in this endeavor.  Their role in the Church is not only essential but they are also held accountable to God for how they lead.  Every man is accountable for those in their home.  Those who lead the church are also responsible for those in the church.  Men should be encouraged to embrace the role God has for them in the family and the Church.  Godly women will submit to their authority and follow their lead.