Learning to be Silent

Our society seems to have no shortage of outspoken women ready to offer their opinion.  There are TV shows dedicated to groups of women sitting around discussing their views on hot topics.  Women are encouraged to speak up and make their mark.  While I think it is good for young girls to have confidence and to seek to follow godly older women as role models, I believe that the feminism of our culture is sneaking into the church.  Some of these changes are obvious, like those arguing for women in positions of authority in the Church.  Women are celebrated as preachers and elders when that is not a role they are called to take.  There are other more subtle ways that this mindset creeps in.

When reading 1 Timothy 2:11-12, I would always agree wholeheartedly.  Yes!  No women preachers.  Then I took a closer look.  We are told, "Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet."  I found it much harder to remain quiet when we were in a discussion in my home.  When sitting around talking with friends and someone asks a question, I immediately want to jump on with my answer.  I realized that if a man was asking the question, I should remain quiet and allow my husband or other men present to teach another man.  While this doesn't mean I can't contribute to a discussion in my own home, I should not be teaching men.  If we are sharing ideas, we can all contribute.  However, if it turns into teaching or mentoring someone, I should let my husband lead in that.  

It is important to remember that the purpose of this command is not because women are stupid or inferior to men. 1 Timothy actually goes on to give a reason in verses 13 and 14, "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor."  This is the structure God has ordained for the family and Church.  Not only did God design men for leadership, but it is difficult to submit to that order because of the curse as stated in Genesis 3:16, which says, "To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”  Sometimes I remember to be quiet.  Other times I jump in and start teaching and need the reminder that it is not my job to teach a man.

I also need this reminder when my husband and I are teaching and disciplining our children.  As their mother, it is my job to teach them and point them to Christ.  However, my role in the home is to be submissive to my husband.  This means that when we are both at home, the instruction falls to him.  If we come home from church and our daughter asks a question about the sermon, it is my husband's responsibility to answer her questions and teach her at that moment.  It is my role to step back and allow him that uninterrupted time.  He is responsible before God for the souls of all of us in his home.  While we talk to each other and work together to parent our children, it is best for everyone that he takes the lead.  

This has not been as easy for me, and it is a lesson I am still learning.  I like to share my opinions.  When a question is posed I want to jump in with my answer.  I want to be heard.  Any time that I am able to remain silent is a testament to the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.  As a work in progress, I hope to be able to encourage other women to embrace the role that God has called them to rather than voicing the opinion of the world.