June 24, 2022
American culture has long attacked the role of fathers. Almost every television show either has a clueless, clumsy, childlike father, or no father at all. More recently the nuclear family has been disassembled and rearranged to highlight and normalize "alternative" (sinful) lifestyles. Even beyond entertainment, you see fathers often relegated to a supporting role rather than being considered an equal partner or leader in their home. For example, when someone says their husband is babysitting the kids while they are out. Fathers don't babysit their own children, they parent. Unfortunately, we live in a culture of death as well. Women are allowed to kill their children before they are even born, and fathers have no legal rights to those children until they are born. It is important that fathers receive more respect and support than our culture gives.
In the home, husbands are to be the leaders. This includes matters related to children. Wives are to submit to their husbands in all things. While parents should definitely communicate with one another and talk about parenting philosophies, the father is the leader. The hardest time I have with submission is when my husband and I disagree about our children and I have to submit to his authority. I have a hard time giving up what I think is best to follow his lead. Yet, most of the time, his ideas are the better or more effective ideas. Even if they were not, my role is still to submit to his authority. Wives need to respect their husbands in their role as leaders. Part of respecting our husbands is remembering that our children are their children too. My husband also loves our children and wants what is best for them. He is not some uninterested third party, he is deeply invested in the well-being of our children. When I love and respect my husband I am teaching my children to do the same. When I defer to his authority, I am showing my children that he is the leader of our home. I am teaching him that he is worthy of honor. They will follow my lead.
We do live in a fallen world, and, unfortunately, not all families are still together. Sometimes mom and dad live apart. I think it is imperative that moms still respect their children's fathers. This includes not talking negatively about him in their presence. When a relationship is broken there are many mixed emotions and heartbreak. It is often difficult to separate our feelings from the person who has hurt us. However, we must realize that our relationship with him is not the same as that of our children. There are still men who will stand up and be good fathers. They do all that they can to be present in their children's lives. As hard as it is to split time with your children, they must have time with their father. If possible, seek to forgive and heal your relationship at least enough to be able to do some things together. Also allow your children to be excited about things they do with their father when you are not there. Respect his authority in their lives and the love and admiration they have for him. Do all you can to live at peace with him for the sake of your children.
Beyond personal relationships, the church as a whole should support fathers in their role as leaders of their homes. There are a lot of ministries and programs focused on mothers. While I think most of these are unnecessary, I also think there should be an equal emphasis on fathers, if not more. The church should be a source of encouragement, especially for young fathers. Older men should be teaching the younger men how to lead their families. Fathers should be respected as the leaders of their families. While the priority of the church should be on those in the church, it is also important to reach out to the surrounding community. Many fathers have believed the lies of this world. They think that they are not important or that their children don't need them. There are fathers who need love and support after losing a child just as much as the mothers do. The church must reach out and seek to help these fathers and share the love of Christ with them.
Children, honor your fathers. Show them the love and respect they deserve as your father. Wives, respect your husbands and support them in their role as fathers. Submit to their authority and encourage them as they lead your family. Churches should seek out opportunities to teach and encourage fathers of all ages and stages of life. Help them to lead their families well and teach them to be godly fathers. When fathers are supported and respected the whole family and church benefits!