Planning

I am a planner.  I write things down in a planner, on my phone calendar, and on a wall calendar.  I like to know in advance what we are doing on a given day.  My husband is not as much of a planner.  He will come home at five, while I'm making dinner, and ask who we should invite over for dinner.  Both of our personalities work together to make for fun times and good fellowship with friends.  If left to my own devices, I probably won't go anywhere and rarely have people over.  My husband pushes me out of that comfort zone, and I enjoy our times out or with friends.  I keep track of the schedule so we don't plan too much on any one day.

As a homeschooling mom, planning is necessary.  I have to have lesson plans ready for each day, and that usually involves planning ahead for the week, month, and year.  I also want to be able to give my kids hands-on experiences to enjoy and time with other kids.  This definitely requires scheduling ahead as we coordinate with other families and event locations.  Scheduling isn't just important for homeschooling.  Any mom with children interested in sports, dance, theater, or other extra curricular activities knows the difficulty of getting all of the kids to the right place at the right time, and not missing any practices!  Someone has to keep track of who is going where and when, and usually that someone is mom.

For some, planning is fun, enjoyable even.  I enjoy thinking through details and planning events.  I have planned big events, like homecoming, and small events, like a dinner at home.  For others, planning is tedious and difficult to do.  Even if you are someone who does not enjoy planning, I highly recommend some type of planning to keep track of your, and your family's, commitments.  A bit of planning early will help you not overbook one day.  This will reduce the stress later on when the events happen.  Planning is necessary for events that sell tickets in advance or require overnight stays.  While I prefer to plan almost hourly so I know what we are doing for the whole trip, others prefer a more open plan.  There are some people who plan only what must be done ahead of a trip, like tickets and hotels.  Then they fill in as they go.  Just the thought of that stresses me out, but for others, it is too stressful to have something planned for every hour of the day (even if the plan for that hour is rest).  My husband and I have to find a compromise somewhere in the middle.  I need more of a plan than just going to the mountains.  He gets stressed when I have everything planned in advance.  So, we plan the big things in advance, and I try to let go and accept some things as they come.  

How you plan will depend on which type of planner you are, and your preferred medium.  I prefer to write things down so I have a paper planner with both a monthly and weekly calendar for a year.  There is plenty of room to write on each day, as well as the monthly calendar for advanced planning.  About once every other week I will make sure what I have written down is also on my phone calendar so I can consult it while out.  Others are more digitally-minded and prefer to just use the calendar and reminders on their phone.  Where you plan is up to you and your preference.  I find that writing things in multiple places (planner, calendar, and phone) helps me to remember better.  I'm sure there are others who only need one place to store their plans.  

If you are not a planner, I would encourage you to try it.  Start with just broad, open-ended plans, but written down somewhere.  When you talk with someone and make a plan, write it down or put it in your phone.  That is your first step to planning.  Think of a goal or something you would like to do in the future, and start planning for how you will accomplish that goal or where you will go.  Write down what steps you need to take or make some reservations and put them in your calendar.  Start planning, even a little, and see the difference it can make.  If you are a planner, like me, with every detail listed, try opening up to a bit more spontaneity.  Just typing that stresses me out, so I understand that can be difficult for some.  I have found, however, that I can still have fun with family and friends even if I don't have everything planned.  Sometimes it is nice to follow someone else's plan, or lack thereof, and just see what happens.  A lack of a plan doesn't necessarily mean disaster.  Most importantly, if you are in a relationship like mine, with two different personalities, find a compromise!  Sometimes it is good to let the planner plan the details.  Other times it is better to just go with the flow.  Enjoy your time together regardless of the plan.