Birthday Reflections

      Some years it seems easier to give thanks than others.  I honestly don't know how I feel about my upcoming birthday.  That last year of a decade is both grasping at keeping that number one more year and anticipation of the change coming the next year.  Regardless of the number, I am thankful for the past year.  Sometimes things seem overwhelming, but overall it has been a great year. 

Some things have changed.  Change is always inevitable, but we have had some good changes.  My body continues to change as our little boy grows and prepares to be born.  Being at an age where they like to remind you of how old you are, I am so thankful that this pregnancy has had no complications and that both the baby and I are healthy.  Of course, my other two children are growing up so fast as well!  Each day my daughter grows into more of a young lady, leaving childhood behind.  My little boy just keeps moving fast.  He loves to run and climb and play baseball and swordfight!  I am thankful for their health and continued development.  There are mixed emotions as you watch your children leave one stage and head into another.  There is sadness at what they are leaving behind as well as excitement and pride in their new accomplishments. My husband and I have also set forth into a new venture as well.  We have officially filed and started our non-profit organization, Community Life Training!  We are excited to start helping people through our classes.

With changes also comes growth.  No one should ever be completely the same each year.  I have learned a lot about myself and areas where I need to improve.  I enjoyed reading Susan Hunt's book, "Spiritual Mothering".  It has shown me the need to receive mentoring as I mentor others.  I always thought I had the whole submissive wife role down pat.  Through my writing this year, I have realized that while I may know what it's all about, I struggle to live it out.  I fight for control way more than I should.  Sometimes it is just subtle things, like not letting my husband carry things in from the car.  Sometimes it's something bigger, like questioning a decision he has made, especially in front of the children.  I am a work in progress, and not nearly as progressed as I thought!

Some things have not changed.  I am thankful for God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  I am still a sinner wrestling against my sinful desires.  I am thankful for my Redeemer who is faithful to forgive me time and time again.  I am thankful for my husband who forgives me repeatedly as well.  I know I am not always the easiest person to live with, especially when I get overemotional over minor things.  I am thankful for the family that God has given us.  We are far from perfect, but we are learning and growing together.  There is a lot of grace and forgiveness needed when living with other people, but it teaches me more about myself and points me to my need for Christ.  

I am thankful God has given me another year to live and grow and change.  Sometimes change is difficult. I have learned more about my shortcomings and sins.  I have watched my children grow and change as well.  I couldn't think of a better way to finish this decade of life than with the birth of another baby.  I am excited to see what God has for me as I finish my thirties.  My grandpa always said his forties were the best decade…so here is to anticipation that the best is yet to come!