Learning to be Flexible

I am not someone who handles change well.  This is especially true of last-minute changes to my plans.  I like to know "the plan" well in advance.  Unfortunately, that is not how life works.  Sure, you can make plans, but there will inevitably be changes.  Proverbs 19:21 tells us, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."  Some people thrive on no schedule, and just "wing it."  However, if you are someone who likes a detailed plan, then, like me, you need to learn to be flexible.  

It helps to be organized and keep a calendar, but inevitably there will be a time that something is forgotten.  Sometimes I plan something and forget to tell my husband, and sometimes it is the other way around. It is helpful that we talk regularly, so usually, we find these oversights before something is completely missed or something else scheduled at the same time.  However, sometimes this means changing what I thought would be a relaxing weekend at home into one that requires me to be much more outgoing.  I'd like to think that I handle these transitions with grace and ease, but I know I have freak-out moments.  There are times when I lose it over seemingly small things because I haven't mentally prepared for them.  The times when I expect some type of change or interruption to happen are the times when I handle it the best.  When someone just stops over at my house without a call or text, I start to panic.  I try to be hospitable, and I want people to feel comfortable stopping by any time.  At the same time, if I haven’t planned on them coming it’s like I don’t know what to do.  My brain either jumps around like crazy so I can’t focus or I freeze up and can’t think at all.  So as I plan, I try to work out potential changes in my mind.  I try not to get too attached to my plans in the event that they get changed or do not go as I had envisioned.  

Having the right priorities can also help you adjust to change.  There have been times that my reaction shows I’m more attached to my schedule or plan than to the people that need me.  It is important to place people above our own plans or things.  Sometimes the interruption to my schedule is due to someone being sick or hurt.  It is more important to care for that person than it is to make it to everything I have scheduled for that day.  This is especially evident as a parent.  It seems that every parent has a time when a child's sickness interrupts a family vacation, weekend plans, or work plans.  There are other people who may interrupt our plans as well.  There have been times that my husband and I have forgone plans because we wanted to continue an important conversation about Christ with someone else.  Our trip to a store or restaurant can wait if we are needed for the sake of the Gospel.  When we do have multiple commitments in one day, I like to schedule a few hours in-between, if at all possible, which allows for talk time, travel issues, or other such schedule interruptions.  

Sometimes the changes are much bigger than a daily interruption.  Sometimes it can change the trajectory of our whole life.  Someone dying, receiving a critical diagnosis, or facing a major injury are not usually things we can plan.  Yes, we may have some warning, but other times it seems to happen spontaneously!  These are times when we often need our family and church to help remind us that God is in control.  Sometimes this makes it easier to change plans because that is all you can think about at the moment.  Other times you just go numb and don't really know what to do or how to prioritize.  While you should be open to change, it is okay to seek out help and support from others.  

Change can be good.  There are so many changes that can be beneficial as a new job, a new baby, or a new house.  Sometimes changes completely knock us down like the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.  No matter how big or small the change in our plans, we need to rely on God's grace to help us be flexible.  It is okay to ask for help.  If this is an area where you really struggle, you may need your husband to point out to you when you are being unreasonable or overreacting.  You may also need the help and advice of an older woman in your church to help you learn to adapt to changes that may come your way.  Find a godly woman who has been where you are and can help you through the changes!  Seek to glorify God in how you handle change.