Growing Older

Here comes my birthday, which leads me to reflect on my age.  As it was pointed out to me the other day, I am closer to 50 than I am to 20.  The years are flying by, and I can hardly believe that the year 2000 is further in my past than it was in my future on the day I was born.  I can now firmly say I’m no longer considered a “young adult”.  No one really knows what their middle age will be, but I do believe I’ve still got a few years before that label is applicable.  So here I am firmly in adulthood wondering how it got here so fast.  I’m starting to notice those gray hairs more and more prominently taunting me and my decision to gray naturally without any hair color.  I am not only aging physically but spiritually as well.  

One of my duties is to guide and teach my own children.  I have been blessed with the privilege of staying home with them and homeschooling.  This is not only a blessing, it is also a big responsibility.  My daughter is learning from my example what it means to be a woman, wife, and mother.  It is my responsibility to teach her not only how to cook, clean, and take care of her own home when she is grown, but also how to study God’s word, love her husband and children, and care for others.  I am also setting the example of what my son will look for in a wife.  I am responsible as a parent to not only model godly womanhood and mothering, but to explicitly teach my children from God’s word.  Timothy is an example of someone who learned from his mother and grandmother as Paul points out in 2 Timothy 1:5 which says, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwell s in you as well.”  While it is a noble calling to care for your family, the Christian life is not limited to only your own children.

I recently read the book Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt.  In this book, she sets forth the Biblical mandate, model, and method for women mentoring women in the faith.  This book served as an encouragement to me as this is something close to my heart, and one of the motivating factors for starting this website.  Those who are older chronologically can encourage and support younger women going through the experiences of marriage and motherhood for the first time.  In the same way, those older in their faith need to teach those who are younger.  Theology and doctrine are not just discussions for seminary classrooms.  Women’s Bible studies and times of discussions together not only need to avoid gossip, but they also need to be times of edification in the faith.  We need to stop equating Women’s Bible studies with self-help sessions and fluffy, “God is love” encouragement.  Women need to wrestle with hard concepts and theological truths as well.  We need to approach women who are more mature in their faith and ask them for their insight and to teach and mentor us.  We also need to seek out younger women in the faith to teach them and support them in their learning process.  

One area where I struggle is in trying to do everything myself and failing to let go.  One of the chapters in the above-mentioned book that convicted me was the chapter Staying...and Separating.    In this chapter, she talks about when the time has come for people to grow up and move on.  Relationships take vast amounts of time and energy to grow.  As that personal connection deepens it becomes harder to let someone go.  Various circumstances can arise in which distance or other factors lead us to separate.  Just as it is hard to let our own children grow up and leave our home, it is also difficult when our spiritual children move on.  It may be possible to stay in touch and to continue to pray for them, but the relationship will change.  This is a natural part of the growth process.  God brings different people into our lives to mold us and shape us into the person he wants us to be.  We are influenced by both those who serve as mentors as well as those we are mentoring.  

As I grow older I am learning to embrace my changing role in the lives of others.  I am growing more mature in my faith and it is my role to teach others also.  We are told to be proud of those gray hairs in Proverbs 16:31 which says, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”  They are evidence of life experience and that can be used to teach others also.  God doesn’t put an age limit on learning or teaching.  We continue to learn through experiences, and we are should never stop teaching others.  As it says in Psalm 71:18, “So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.