The Role of Fathers

Fathers are the key to a healthy home.  Fathers are the leaders - heads of their home.  Not only are husbands to lead and love their wives as Christ loved the Church, but they are also responsible before God for all those in their home.  While children are instructed to obey their parents, Fathers are also given the instruction, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).  Father’s are the biggest influencers in their children’s lives.  While moms provide comfort and security, fathers are the ones that teach the hard lessons, provide the “Mom, watch this” fun, and also give security of a different sort.  Both mom and dad are important, but I would argue that dad is the most important in the family.  Wives have a duty to support and help their husbands in their role as father.

Fathers are given the weighty responsibility of being accountable for those in their home.  They must give an account before God for both their wife and their children.  As the leaders of their home, they are the primary teacher, provider, decision maker, and protector of their family.   Fathers are to teach their children both the truths of Scripture as well as necessary life skills.  As they provide discipline and instruction, they are pointing their children to Christ.  Wives are called to provide their husbands with the love and support that he needs to faithfully fulfill his role as the leader of the home.  We need to follow his lead, and thus show our children how to follow as well.  We also need to make sure we are in agreement with our husbands on teaching and discipline so we are working with them rather than against them as we raise our children.

My daughter and I were a family without a husband/father for several years.  I asked her what is different about having a dad.  She told me that our meals were “fancier”.  Now that I am able to be at home full time, I have the time to cook more involved dinners.  There were times when it was the end of a marking period as well as the end of a soccer season and this teacher/coach relied a lot on fast food to get her daughter fed before bedtime.  I was exhausted before we even got home, so if we didn’t get food already prepared, I would often just make something simple, like macaroni and cheese.  She also told me that her dad is much better at “dad jokes” than I ever was.  While the two of us can have a good time together, joking and playing is different with dad.  There are times when she would rather go somewhere just the two of them and leave mom and baby brother at home.  She wasn’t able to clarify or really define what it was, but she said, “Dads just make a family complete.  It was like we were missing something before.”  This is probably true for most single-family homes.  Though it can’t be defined, kids can feel that something is missing.  The home is not quite the way it is supposed to be.  Most importantly, she said that her dad has made her think more about theology and what she really believed.  She said we have more people over at our house, and he is always talking to them about God and theology.  

The example from our own life has highlighted why God gives specific commands to care for widows and the fatherless.  Our home should be open to those single parents who may need a confidant, guidance, childcare, or just a shoulder to cry on.  Those single parents are doing their best, without the help and support of another parent.  It is hard to be consistent when  you are tired and lack support!  Our home should also be open to the orphans, those without either mother or father.  I would encourage all Christian families to consider adoption.  If you cannot personally welcome children into your home, consider other ways you can support families that are adopting.  Also consider opportunities to mentor fatherless children.  We are told in James 1:27, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” 

All through Scripture, we see the love of God as our Father.  A Father who loved us so much that even when we were in rebellion against Him, he sent his only Son to die in our place so we could be adopted into His family.  A Father who adopts us and gives us all the same rights and privileges of sonship, even though we deserve nothing but wrath and condemnation.  Whether or not we had a good earthly father, we have a perfect Heavenly Father.  Fathers can never live up to God’s perfect example, but those that are striving to live for Him and lead their families in the nurture and admonition of the Lord should be honored and supported.  Give your father and husband the respect and honor they deserve every day, and do something special for them this Father’s Day!