Family

The topic of family always brings up a lot of emotions.  Some people have had great experiences with much love and respect for the members of their family.  Others have experienced loss and hang on to memories as they no longer have those people with them.  Some have had bad experiences of abuse, neglect, or other issues within their family.  Everyone has different experiences and memories, but regardless of where we have been, we can acknowledge the importance of family.  I was so blessed to have time with my family last week and looking forward to more family visiting next week!  I was reminded of the significance of family in society.  God's word differs greatly from the world's definition of family.   God tells us that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman for the rest of their lives.  He tells us to love and honor our parents.  He tells us children are a blessing from the Lord.  

A new family begins with a marriage covenant.  That covenant is made between a man and a woman before God for the rest of their lives.  Both parties leave the families of their birth and create a new family.  As it says in Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."  They are no longer under the care and supervision of their parents.  While they are still responsible for honoring their parents, it does not look the same as for children still in their parents' homes.  The new family is the priority.  Wives are no longer under their fathers' authority, but must now submit to their husbands.  Husbands are responsible for the provision and protection of their wives and children before anyone else.  Once you get married, your spouse should be your priority, even above your children.  

Parents are given to us by God to train us in the way we should go.  We do not get to pick our parents, but God does.  He places children in families according to His plan and purpose.  Some children have to follow hard paths before they make it to their forever families.  Some people have poor relationships with parents that were not pointing them to Christ as they should have.  No matter the circumstances of our relationship with our parents, we must honor them as our parents.  This will look different depending on your relationship and the age of your parents.  As they grow older, they may need more continual care.  However, those who have been abusive, while still in need of forgiveness and respect, may have created a distance and broken relationship that is never restored.  Whether you have a great relationship with your parents or have found mentors to fill in what your parents did not provide, look to them for wisdom and guidance.  Old age often brings greater wisdom and their experience can help and guide us along the way.  Job 12:12 tells us, "Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.". While this is not universally true, it is generally true.  We learn through experience and can expect those with greater experience to have greater wisdom.  However, we must also seek godly wisdom.  If your parents do not follow the Lord, seek out mentors to be "spiritual parents" who will mentor you and help you to grow in your faith.  

Children are a gift from God, never a burden or a mistake.  The world focuses on children as another expense, inconvenience, or interruption to our plans or fun.  However, God tells us, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:3‭-‬5)  When a child comes into our life, it is part of God’s plan.  Even in difficult cirucmstances, God is working according to His will.  Parents are gifted with children to raise to know and love the Lord.  Parents are not only the primary caregivers, they are also their children's primary teachers.  This is not only an immense privilege, but also a great opportunity to shape them into people we enjoy being around.  Seek out opportunities to share the truth of God's Word with your children.  Help them to learn not only daily tasks or chores, but also pass along your wisdom about other topics such as history, science, the workplace, and society as a whole.  

Embrace the family that God has given you.  Sometimes families are broken and/or patched up.  Sometimes members are hurting and in need of our care and support.  We can learn from our family as well.  The family is the starting point and basis of all society.  If you want to change the world and the society you live in, start with a focus on your family.