Babies need sleep.  Babies need a lot of sleep.  This is pretty much the only thing that people will agree on.  New moms, desperate for sleep, are up at two in the morning asking Google for answers on how to get their baby to sleep through the night!  The subsequent results are not only numerous, but also vary greatly and even contradict one another!  Some people think that babies must be in bed with their parents while others insist that babies should always be in their own bed in a separate room.  Some think you will spoil a baby by holding him too much.  Others tell you that babies only “spoil” when they get too big to want to be held.  It’s hard to see through all the differing options.  It seems that no matter what you decide, someone will think you are doing it wrong.

I am not an expert.  I have not studied sleep habits of babies, children or adults.  I am not a doctor who can help diagnose an issue that may be hindering sleep in children.  I am not a parent of a large family with decades of experience.  I am, however, a mom with two vastly different children who don’t sleep at all the same.  After another feeding at four-thirty in the morning, I too am seeking answers for getting my baby to sleep through the night!  While I cannot give my expert opinion, I can lead you to some experts that have been very helpful to me.  

The Baby Book by William Sears, MD, Martha Sears, RN, Robert Sears, MD, and James Sears, MD is a thick volume about all things baby.  They cover everything from birthing to bathing and feeding and sleeping.  It is a “one stop shop” for what you need to know about a baby’s first couple years of life.  This book is written by a husband and wife team along with two of their sons.  They take what they call an attachment parenting style based on the raising of their own large family as well as from information they have gathered in their pediatric medicine practice.  While they cover all sorts of topics and often talk about sleep within those topics, they also have a whole chapter just on sleep.  I like that this book can be used as a reference manual or be read cover-to-cover (or both).  This could be a helpful resource for understanding sleep in the context of caring for the whole baby.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, MD is another book that has been extremely helpful.  He has studied sleep, especially in children, and believes that a lack of sleep may lie at the root of several behavioral issues that are sometimes not realized until that child begins school.  He advocates sleep training in a way that doesn’t seem harsh or unfeeling.  A friend let me borrow it with my first child (who was and is a phenomenal sleeper without much effort), and I merely glanced through it.  I now find myself wanting to read it more carefully and reference it again as my baby struggles to self-sooth and make it through the night.

These two books have greatly influenced my approach to sleep.  My approach is kind of a blend of attachment parenting and sleep training.  While those two don’t usually go together, I’ve learned that you have to do what works best for your family and your situation.  All children are different, and what works for one may not work for another.  Don’t forget, Momma needs to get her sleep too!  As hard as it is, you need to find some time to rest.  If that means a sleep schedule, then that’s what you need to do.  If that means you sleep whenever the baby sleeps, then sleep with their rhythm.  Your approach to sleep, and parenting in general, is often a reflection of your own personality, so what is best for your family.