Infant Days

Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes it takes years, but that day a baby is placed in your arms changes you forever.  Whether you labored for days, received them from their birth mom in the hospital, or answered a knock at your door, this moment is everything you hoped for, and simultaneously the scariest moment of your life.  You make the decisions; you are the responsible party; you are the mom!  These infant days go by in a blur, mainly due to lack of sleep, but they are some of the sweetest days of bonding with your baby.  These can also be days when we feel far from the Lord.  

Hormones wreak havoc upon the body.  I never realized just how much hormones control.  The nervous system may be sending the messages, but the endocrine system affects every other system.  Pile upon this the physical aspects of recovery after delivery, made even more complicated if you had to have a c-section or there was other trauma involved at the time of your child’s birth.  What should you do when you have had a major physical and emotional injury?  Rest.  What is in very short and small quantities in those early days?  Rest.  It sometimes feels like one day just melts into another.  This is where the schedules of having older kids can be helpful in keeping track of days, but if this is your first, you may change months and not even realize it.  It is okay to ask for help, and even more okay to accept help.  This life was not made to live in isolation.  This is one way that older women can help teach younger women to be keepers of their homes.  It doesn’t mean just give them some “tips and tricks” and send them on their way.  If you have the time to help a new mom, offer to make dinner, do some dishes, sweep or vacuum the house, do laundry, or whatever else she feels comfortable accepting as help.  Don’t take it as someone judging you when they offer to help clean when you are barely getting in a shower a week.  Accept the help that is offered.  Many times these older women are also moms, and they understand those early day struggles.

Lean on your husband.  Let him lead you, support you, and help you.  Remember that not only is he also a parent that wants time to bond with his child, but he is your loving husband that wants what is best for you and your complete recovery.  Prioritize time with each other.  This may just be for an hour after all of the kids are asleep and before the baby needs to eat again, but seek opportunities to spend time together.  Enjoy your new baby together.  Even if you are nursing, there are ways that your husband can have time to bond with your baby as well.  He can care for the baby while you get a nap during the day or wear the baby for a while when you’re making dinner.  In those first few days after delivery, my husband would change the baby’s diaper and hold them for a while when they were not eating.  This is a special time for you and your baby, but don’t forget that it is a special time for you and your husband, and for your husband and your baby, as well!  Use this time to learn more about each other as you take on the roles of mom and dad.  

The most important thing in those early days, and the one thing most quickly put to the wayside, is prioritizing time with the Lord.  Spend time praying and reading your Bible.  This may seem like an impossible task, but there are ways you can manage.  It may be difficult to balance a baby and a Bible at the same time, but there are a number of good Bible apps that will allow you to read scripture on your phone while you are holding the baby.  Another thing you can do is to learn a book of the Bible, one verse at a time of course.  Start with one verse.  Read it over and over.  Practice saying it without looking at it.  Consider what that verse is saying.  Ponder it and meditate on it.  When that verse is learned, go on to the next verse.  As you learn whole passages, take a broader look at the context and how all of those verses go together.  You don’t need long periods of uninterrupted time to meditate on Scripture.  You don’t have to read through the Bible in a year when you are also nursing an infant.  Sometimes a slow reading, meditation, and memorization of the Word is the way to go when you only have time to read one verse.  This is another way you can lean on your husband and community for help.  Use the time that is given to you for both your whole health, spiritual, mental, and physical.  Use time away from your baby to get closer to God.

Whether this is your first baby or your tenth, it is always an adjustment to bring home a new baby.  Those infant days seem to be so long, but fly by so fast.  Enjoy the moments you have and know that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, tired, and sad.  If you are struggling, seek help.  Thank the Lord for the blessings He has given.  Seek ways to grow closer to Him and rely on His strength.  Embrace the help and support from your husband, family, and friends.  Know that you are not alone, and were never meant to be.  When this season ends, remember what you needed, and when you are able, seek to provide that for another new mom as well.