Maintaining Family Health

A healthy family is not often talked about or portrayed in the media.  It seems like the focus is on dysfunction or redefining family.  God's word gives us guidelines for the roles of each member of the family.  Following God's design gives us a healthy foundation for our family.  When we have that solid foundation we can then build on the spiritual foundation in areas of mental, emotional and physical health. 

I believe the biggest factor in a healthy family is male leadership.  We read in Ephesians 5:25-33 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."  The husband is called the head of the wife because he is to be the leader.  When husbands love their wives as themselves, it makes it easy to submit to their leadership.  Husbands should sacrificially put the needs of their wives before their own.  They should do all they can to provide for her and care for her just as they would for themselves.  

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (Ephesians 5:22‭-‬24)  Wives are not less in importance or worth, but they do serve a different role in the home.  Wives are to submit to their husbands' leadership.  They are the first follower, and as such serve as an example to their children.  When children see their mother's respect and submission to their father, it shows them that he is trustworthy and worthy of their respect as well.  Too often, women give in to the temptation to take control.  It can be hard at times, but we must remember our role.  When a woman is leading the household, it disrespects and degrades their husband and their position of leadership in the home.  It feeds into the world's stereotype of men being idiots or large children rather than responsible adults leading their families.  When wives take their proper role the family functions better.

There have been numerous reports that show a significant reduction in risk factors in children with both parents in the home.  Fathers serve as role models for their children.  They show their sons what a husband and father should be and how he should cherish his wife.  They show their daughters how they should expect to be treated by their future husbands, giving them high standards and expectations.  A father's presence also significantly increases the children's attendance and participation at church as well.  Fathers are also the ones primarily responsible for the training and discipline of their children.  Ephesians 6:1-4 speaks to both children and fathers saying, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  Both parents are important in the training of their children, but fathers are the ones directly responsible before God.  

A healthy family is one in which both husband and wife prioritize their marriage above their children.  It is a family in which the husband and father is the leader of the home and the wife and mother gladly submit to his leadership.  The children in the home obey and honor their parents.  When everyone takes their proper place, the family is healthy and functions well.  Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world where this is not always the case.  Some homes have been touched by death or divorce and there is only one parent in the home.  Sometimes children go back and forth between homes.  In these situations, parents must do their best to point their children to Christ and make the most of the situation they have been given.  When the focus is on Christ, the family can be healthy in any circumstance.