Worth It!

My whole family was under quarantine for the end of September.  I was the last one to get sick, but I seemed to be hit the hardest.  Last week was so bad, I honestly can't remember what happened.  Thankfully, by the time I started to get sick, the rest of the family was on the mend.  My husband just picked up where I left off.  Once he headed back to work, my twelve-year-old daughter stepped in to help, especially in keeping up with her one-year-old brother!

I have seen many mom's who are lamenting the young toddler years.  As a mom with both a toddler and a preteen, I can tell you, don't wish away the little years.  Find joy in raising your children.  Yes, some days are absolutely exhausting.  Some days it seems like you say the same thing over and over.  Some days they listen and obey.  Some days they disobey just to see if the consequences are the same as yesterday.  Be consistent, discipline with love, and point your children to Christ.  This is not something you will do perfectly.  You are also a sinful human, just like that little one you are training.  There were definitely some times that mommy had to sit down and apologize to her daughter for her overreaction.  Consistency helps children feel safe.  It makes the home a loving and welcoming space where children want to be.  They know what is expected and they know what consequences to expect for their actions.  This creates a great bond and connection between parents and their children.  The more you look for those lovely moments of playing together, making a craft, pushing them on a swing, etc, the happier mom will be.  When mom is happy, the kids will be happy too.  Remember they are learning, and relish the time you have to watch them learn and grow.  I love the relationship I have with my mom.  I know that I can call her about anything.  I know she is supporting me and will help me anyway that she can.  I love that open relationship I have with my own daughter.  I love that my daughter will talk and joke with me.  I love the bond we have.

Chores are an expectation in our home as well.  Everyone in the family contributes to the family economy.  Even the one-year-old is learning to wipe up his messes and put toys back in their bins.  One way I encouraged my daughter to take responsibility for cleaning up when she was younger was a concept we called Toy Jail.  Any toys found on the floor after she went to bed went to toy jail.  Additional chores would be required the next day to "bail them out".  This only applied to items she forgot, not things she was directly told to put up.  Direct disobedience was dealt with immediately.  This training in the early years made the past few weeks much easier on me!  I could trust my daughter to do the dishes, do laundry, watch and play with her brother, and help in so many ways without any oversight.  She knew what to do.  She even went above and beyond and cooked us lunch and cleaned my kitchen!  She told me she knows how much a messy kitchen stresses me out, so she cleaned it!  This makes it worth it.  I am amazed watching her grow into a responsible young lady and realizing that one day she will be taking care of her own house.  She will know just what to do, and she won't need mom to help.  Chores are not punishments, they are a training ground to prepare kids for life.

Church is another training ground that can seem like an exercise in futility.  This however, is the most important.  It is good to have whole families together in the service, worshipping the Lord together.  There are times when it seemed like my active, loud, dancing-in-the-aisles daughter would never learn to sit still and quiet in church.  I face that again with my son.  He wants to climb everywhere, say hi and flirt with the girls behind us, and seems to have zero interest in the service itself.  I know from experience, as my daughter sits next to me taking notes, that eventually he will learn.  I can see hints even now.  He knows when we are about to do communion, and he watches with great interest.  He has even started singing along with some of the songs!  Some Sundays it seems like all goes well.  He sits on mommy's lap, eats his snacks, plays quietly with toys, and all is good.  Other Sundays it is like wrestling an alligator when I hold him, he throws his toys, and his father and I have to take turns taking him outside the sanctuary for attitude and behavior correction. He is learning that behaviors and expectations are different in different situations.  He is watching us worship the Lord and learning the importance of what we are doing, even before he understands the words that are spoken.  I know one day he will sit quietly, learning from the sermon.  I will be able to catch more than half the sermon myself.  One day, the hard work put in during the early years will be a blessing.

Loving, consistent discipline is hard, but it is so worth it.  To those mommas who are tired, I see you.  I understand how worn out you can be doing the same things, reading the same books, and correcting the same behaviors day after day.  I know that time moves quickly.  Some days we are tired and in our weakness wish for time to speed up.  We just want a clean house, dinner made on time,  schoolwork done, and a chance to do something for ourselves beyond basic hygiene.  That day is coming, momma.  One day we will look around at our clean house without a sticky surface in sight, and we will long for those baby snuggles and sticky kisses again.  One day you will look around at an immaculate kitchen and realize that she did it all by herself and she didn't need you.  In only a few short years, she will be on her own, doing just fine without you.  Time does go fast, except on our hard days.  Embrace the place God has you now.  You can't get these days back.