February 5, 2020
Love is not a fuzzy feeling. Yes, feelings can be a part of love, but if a feeling is all you have then you are missing a lot of love. Love is a choice; love is service; love is submission; love is putting the needs of others before your own. Titus is told to teach that “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5)
Older women are presumed to be those who have life experience to share with the younger women. Their experience and greater knowledge of God’s word give them the greater responsibility of teaching younger women. A life consistent with how you are teaching others to live is necessary. Reverent behavior shows a proper respect for authority and for God’s word. Older women are not to be slanders to seek to tear down others, but to build others up by teaching them to be followers of God. They are to be the ones who train the younger women. Some of this training is done as mothers teaching their daughters. My daughter is watching how I live, and she has a front row seat to all of my flaws. I am responsible for discipling her and teaching her not only what it means to be a Christan, but also what it looks like to be a wife, mother, and friend. While she can see my flaws and shortcomings, hopefully she can also see my success and growth! Our children should be our first and primary ministry.
We are not to stop with just our family. Older women should be mentors of younger women who are just starting their adult journey. My mother has been my main source of discipleship and guidance. She is the first one I think of to call when I have a problem or question. I am also thankful for other godly women in my life that I can call as well. It is good to have more than one person to turn to for help and support. If you are a younger woman, seek out the advice and discipleship of older women who will point you to Christ. If you are an older woman, seek out younger women to come alongside to disciple and help and support. Teach them how to be the woman, wife, and mother God has called them to be!
Younger women are not “off the hook”. They are not merely the recipients of instruction from older women. There are some hefty things that they are called to learn, and to be able to pass on to others as they grow in wisdom and experience. Loving your husband and children may seem natural to most, but we all can admit that there are days and times we just want to get away. There are some times when loving my husband is as easy as breathing. Other times, it is a conscious decision that takes effort. One minute I look at my child with such love and pride, rejoicing that she is mine. The next minute I am remembering to choose my words carefully as I reprimand her for the same frustrating thing day after day. It is easy to get caught up in all the things that must be done in a day and forget to point your children to Jesus. It is easy to give in to the emotions of a moment and let something fly from your lips that you will regret later. Love takes self-control. Working at home may seem easy to some, but joined with these other commands it becomes a task needing forethought and practice. There can be a lot of responsibilities to manage in the keeping of a home. On top of all of these things, wives are to submit to their husbands. This loving decision to place themselves under their husband’s authority is not due to an inherent inferiority. Rather, submission is a loving acquiescence to the will of another. Submitting to your husband is a beautiful picture of the Church submitting to Christ.
February is a month that people think of love. I exhort you to think of God’s definition of love rather than the world’s definition. Love is not about how someone makes you feel or what they do for you. Love is about your conscious decision to put others above yourself and to serve them in a way that brings glory to God and points others to Christ. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a tells us “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”