Designed This Way

Our society, by and large, rejects the idea of a Creator.  In this rejection, they are also rejecting his purpose and design for his creation.  Not only are people rejecting the roles he has given them in society, church, and their family, but some are even rejecting the very person God made them to be.  It has become increasingly difficult to advocate for God-appointed gender roles without offending someone and being called hateful.  However, when I advocate for women being keepers of their homes, I am doing so because it is part of God’s design.  It is loving to admonish people to fill the roles God has designed for them and to follow the best possible design for a family whenever possible.  These admonitions are for your good, and not to further my own personal agenda.  My writing flows out of my love for the Lord and a love for people.

From the very beginning, God made men and women different.  This does not mean that one is inherently more superior.  In fact, God’s design provides a perfect complement in the marriage relationship.  Genesis 2:18, 22-23 tells us, “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’  And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.  Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’”  Though this perfect relationship was marred by sin, there is still a beautiful design of two people whose strengths complement each other.  A marriage that follows God’s design is not oppressive to women; it is freeing.  I take such joy in following my husband’s leadership.  I trust him with my life and the life of our children.  I know that he is making decisions that are for the good of our whole family.  I am sure of this because he talks with me and asks for my opinion.  I am an active part of his decision making.  Though I follow his lead, he is not leading alone, I am there to help him, and our relationship serves as a model for our children.

We are seeking to raise children who will be strong and independent.  While we want our daughter to be free to make her dreams a reality, we also want her to embrace the woman God has designed her to be.  She may remain single and independent, as the idea of marriage and relationships are still a bit gross in her pre-teen mind.  However, I know that those ideas can, and probably will, change as she grows and matures.  I want her to see how she can be a helper to someone else, and what a noble task that can be.  I want my son to be a strong and capable leader of his own home.  I want him to learn how a man is to love his wife so much that submitting to his leadership is a joy, not a burden.  Our marriage is a model to our children of what that looks like.  We must be ever mindful that our kids are watching us and our interactions.  They need to see positive examples of discussion, decision making, conflict resolution, and discipline.  We live in a broken and fallen world, so sometimes these examples are not available in every home.  This makes a healthy marriage even more important for those around you.  Our marriage can serve not only as an example for our children, but also for others.  Those who are single parents can be encouraged to see healthy marriages around them.  For quite a few years it was just my daughter and I, but, thankfully, she had the example of several other healthy marriages, such as her grandparents, to serve as an example for her.  It was encouraging to me, as a single mom, to see healthy, thriving relationships all around me.  

God has also created a beautiful tapestry of varying abilities in the Church.  People from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds with different interests and abilities all come together to serve one another and to worship our Savior.  Just as God has outlined differing roles in a family, there are also differing roles for people in the church.  1 Timothy 2:8-12 shows us what this looks like in worship when it says, “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness - with good works.  Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.  I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.”  While our culture shouts that women can do the same things men can do, God’s word is clear that just because something can be done doesn’t mean that it should be done.  Women have the huge task stated in Titus 2:3b-5, “They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”  Self-control can be hard sometimes, as is submission.  Even if we desire to take the lead, we must practice self-control so that God’s Word is not open to criticism.  Everyone can use the gifts and abilities that God has given them to the benefit of the Church, while remaining in the roles in which we have been created.  

God gives everyone different strengths and abilities, and it is beautiful to see how he can bring these together in the family and in the church.   The Christian life is to be a picture of the gospel.  We must live it out before the watching world, even if it means criticism.  We must embrace the roles we have been given and live them out to the best of our ability.  Our life should shout out to others that we are a sinner redeemed by the blood of Christ.  Our family should be an example of the Gospel as the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife submits to her husband the way the Church submits to Christ.  The children in a family obey their parents just as God’s people are to be obedient to Him.  The Church itself brings together a kaleidoscope of people to love and serve one another as a body in which Christ is the head.  Be encouraged, be who you were created to be and thus be an example to the next generation.  Encourage those around you to embrace the person that God has created them to be.