Waiting for Motherhood

Waiting is hard.  Waiting is frustrating.  Waiting seems indefinite.  Even knowing that God is sovereign and has all things under His control, even knowing that God keeps His promises and never changes, it can still be hard to wait.  We do not know what His will is.  We do not know what the future holds.  We also know that sometimes God’s answers to our prayers are “no”.  When waiting for children, it seems like the wait is even harder.  It can seem like everyone around us is brimming with the happy news of expectation while we continue to wait.  Sometimes we wonder if God is telling us “no”.  We are not promised a certain number of children.  We are not promised any children.  I think of several women in the Old Testament who longed for children for years.  While eventually they were blessed with at least one son, this is not a guarantee.  It can be hard to keep our heart right and our focus on the Lord during a difficult season of waiting.

One danger in the waiting is to make children our idol.  James 1:12-15 reminds us, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.  Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.  But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”  Let us not fall victim to that conception.  We can become so consumed with our desire for children that it pushes our love for the Lord right out of the way.  In the midst of seeing what God doesn’t provide, we forget that which He has already provided.  When we are in Christ, we have all we need.  We have been given God’s mercy and grace to save us while we were still sinners.  Though we were His enemy, He saved us!  Christ should be enough.  We need to glorify God in our waiting.  

Another danger in waiting is that of covetousness.  This is closely related to the sin of idolatry.  We see what someone else has and desire that for ourselves.  It can be hard to stand in conversations with other women when all they seem to talk about is children.  This can be magnified even further if, in our waiting, we have lost children.  It is hard when no one sees all of your children.  It can seem like those in heaven have been forgotten.  It can feel isolating when you too have carried a child, but you don’t have the cute stories to tell.  In fact, the stories you do have are probably more of the sad, depressing, and difficult variety.  Yet, we are told, “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15-18)  I cannot tell you will raise children as part of God’s will for you.  However, I can tell you that His will is for you to rejoice with those who are rejoicing.  You are to do good to them.  You are to give thanks for the children God has blessed them with.  Praying without ceasing may be a regular part of your day.  However, these other parts of God’s will can seem agonizing.  However, we must submit our will to God’s.  We are to pray for them, encourage them, rejoice with them, be thankful for them, and love their children.  It is not their fault that you are in a different season.  Maybe God has you waiting, waiting again, or grieving.  It is hard to accept that as God’s will and for His glory; and yet we must.  We must point others to Christ in how we love and care for others, especially when they have what we want.

As hard as it is when we are not getting what we want.  In submitting ourselves to God’s will, that includes His timing.  While not specifically talking about waiting for children, Paul does address this issue in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  Paul suffered from some type of ailment that is not specified; however, he was able to be content even when it wasn’t removed from him.  He never received the healing he requested of the Lord, but still he trusted that this was for his good and for God’s glory.  Maybe you are desiring children but haven’t any.  Maybe you have children but desire more.  Maybe you have lost children along the way.  Keep asking of the Lord, but do so by submitting yourself to God’s will and His timing.

Contentment and submission are a daily endeavor.  Every day we must turn it over to the Lord.  We can pray, we can mourn, but we must realize that God’s will be done.  I have often heard people say, “If you find contentment where you are, God will give you what you long for.”  I disagree with that statement.  If you are content only for a brief interlude, you are not truly content.  True contentment finds full and complete satisfaction in God.  He is our goal.  He is our peace.  He is all we need.  You may never be granted the petitions for which you so earnestly pray.  Contentment means we accept that conclusion.  All of us are waiting for an even better day, a day when all things will be made new.  There will be a day when the hurt, pain, sadness, and waiting will be over.  Look forward to that day with great expectation and trust in the Lord.